Book Review: Hungry

It is rare that I read a book about anorexia that doesn't make it seem glamorous. It's not. It's so not. And Crystal Renn does a wonderful job of showing eating disorders for what they are: miserable quests for self-denial and restriction that has a person believing that their weight (or lack of) will make all their dreams come true.

In "Hungry," Renn shares the misery and self-punishment she goes through trying to make herself as thin as her modeling agents want her to be. Many people may not realize how secretive this life is, even when it's immersed in a lifestyle like modeling where thin is always in. Renn describes working out manically, hiding 8-hour workout sessions from everyone, including gym staff by working out at different gyms so her extreme exercise regiment isn't detected.



Not surprisingly, all of her anorexic antics backfire. She doesn't get the coveted modeling assignments she longs for and her health deteriorates quickly. Unlike so many young women, though, she comes to her senses and confides in her agent that she's been starving herself and working out so much that her body is in agony. She makes the decision, with her agent, that she will pursue a different type of modeling: plus-size modeling.

Sadly, "plus-size modeling" seems to be anything above size 8. Renn is the first to agonize over that fact. She does plenty of research for this book on health, weight, dieting, the history of modeling, and social factors that enter into a culture's vision of beauty. All of that makes this memoir a very compelling read.

But on top of that is her personal revelations of how restricted and empty she felt as she pursued her dream of being a supermodel versus the joy and growth she felt as she began to accept her body the way it was. You can read it in her words and in her story. Renn is outspoken about how important it is to love yourself and that only through that acceptance and happiness can you achieve your dreams.

It shows in her pictures, which are the centerfold of the book. It shows her as a healthy teenager. Then as an emaciated model who looks dead inside and out. Finally, as a plus-size model who looks sexy as hell!


I loved reading this book and wish every girl who starves herself, or thinks that everything will be better if only she could lose a few pounds would read Renn's story. I, for one, am taking it to heart. It's making me rethink how I view "healthy" and what absurd rewards I think I would gain if I could just lose some weight.

Bravo, Crystal! No wonder you're a star!

Book Review: Amsterdam Exposed

I’ve been to Amsterdam and like most tourists, I curiously wandered to the Red Light District. And then quickly wandered back out. I was like so many tourists David Wienir describes in his travel memoir AMSTERDAM EXPOSED who excitedly want to take a peek, but are soon uncomfortable with the seediness of the women beckoning men from their windows.

I probably only saw five or six windows before I turned around. Wienir, on the other hand, strolled through the Red Light District almost every day of his stint as an exchange student in 1999 Amsterdam.

Fascinated by the women in the windows and determined to learn more about them as human beings, not just sexual objects, Wienir embarks on a quest to befriend some of them and write about their forays into the world’s oldest profession. He is immediately met with scorn as he tries to talk to the working women. Door after door is slammed in his face. Until he meets Emma, who reluctantly agrees to talk with him.

She stands him up over and over again, but he persists in trying to connect with her. Finally, she agrees and Wienir talks to the Dutch prostitute for hours one night at a bar. He has vowed not to have sex with any of the prostitutes in Amsterdam as he doesn’t want to taint the story he tells. Not surprisingly, though, he falls in love with Emma. He deems her a hooker with a heart of gold, much like Julia Roberts’ character in Pretty Woman (though Emma is not just starting her career in the sex industry, and she freely uses drugs). I think Wienir wanted to make her out to be more wholesome than she was — which ultimately fulfilled his fantasy of what the backstory of a prostitute might be.

He freely admits that Amsterdam’s prostitutes succeed because they entertain the fantasies of their customers. That is what they’re selling: fantasies. And Wienir realizes his fantasy by the end of the story.

I found the descriptions of Amsterdam to be spot on. The scene he paints of 1999 Amsterdam is exactly how I remember it. Wienir often takes groups of his fellow law students through the RLD and observes their discomfort as they wander through the narrow alleys just steps away from many of the working women standing half-nude in their doorways. If you’ve ever been to Amsterdam, you’ll feel like you’re there again. And if you haven’t — here’s your first glance at this timeless European city.

Despite Wienir’s predictable infatuation with Emma, there were several observations he made that were very insightful about the sex industry and the human psyche. For me, his comparison of the desensitization of sexuality and nudity to noncommital online dating today struck a chord. Of course, Wienir describes it much better than I can:

When you live in a city where you can have sex with any number of beautiful women anytime you want, for $25, something changes on an evolutionary level. With such easy access, even if one doesn’t indulge, the pursuit ends. There’s no glory in the conquest. There’s no chase. The mind is allowed to go elsewhere…

…The necessity and urgency for sex fades. For others, it’s the opposite. Their mind goes into overload and unleashes a veritable feeding frenzy. The phenomenon is similar to what happens to many guys on the Internet, through sites such as match.com and others like it. They just can’t get enough. Women become disposable…

I found this insight fascinating. There were many passages and observations that Wienir made in AMSTERDAM EXPOSED that drew me in. I read the book in a single day. I knew he would fall in love with his prostitute, but I didn’t know why. But maybe that’s because it’s not my fantasy, nor my story to tell…