Who Am I?

As always, the pictures I post with quizzes are not to be taken too literally.
This is just another hint.



I wrote a script for the unproduced "Star Trek: Phase II" series that was cancelled in favor of Star Trek: The Motion Picture (1979).

I was 63 when I married my third wife in 1999; she was only 29.

I am a descendant of the classic composer Johann Sebastian Bach.

I was a charter pilot, flight instructor, aviation mechanic, and barnstormer.

I was a Captain in the U.S. Air Force from 1956-1962.

One of my most famous books starts: It was morning, and the new sun sparkled gold across the ripples of a gentle sea. A mile from shore a fishing boat chummed the water.  

I am credited with saying, “Your friends will know you better in the first minute you meet than your acquaintances will know you in a thousand years."

Diamonds

"Dad! Dad! We found diamonds!"

"Slow down," Craig told his girls as they came running pell mell with huge rocks in their hands. The girls circled around him, out of breath and bouncing excitedly.

"We're going to be millionaires!" Amy, the oldest, proclaimed.

"Yeah! Millontares," her baby sister Jeanie repeated.

"Hold on now," Craig told the girls. "Let's see what you have."

Six small hands were thrust before him. Craig carefully studied the gems on display. He pursed his lips to keep from laughing. He nodded slowly and collected himself. "You know,  I think you've got something there," he told them.

The three sisters bounced up and down, squealing excitedly and knocking into each other. Small pieces of  rock spilled to the ground. "Careful," Craig said. "You'd better put those diamonds down before you drop them on your toes."

With wide eyes and careful hands, the girls set their treasures on the ground. The family kneeled around them as Craig let out a low whistle. "I'm mighty impressed," Craig said reverently. "Who'd have thought you'd find diamonds right here in our own backyard. Amazing." He looked up. "Think there's any more?"

The girls looked at each other with wonder. Amy answered for them all and nodded.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" Craig asked. "Go get 'em!"

The girls scampered off as their mother stepped outside, the screen door slamming behind her. "What are you all doing?" she asked her husband as she walked toward him.

Craig rose to his feet and dusted off his hands. He chuckled. "Oh, the girls think they found a mine of diamonds in our backyard. Think we're gonna be millionaires."

Carolyn studied the rocks at her feet. "Why didn't you tell them those aren't diamonds?"

Craig stared off into the distance at his daughters. He saw their small frames hunched over the ground, peering into the dusty dirt for bounty. "Oh, let 'em dream," he said. "If they think they can find something good in their own Arkansas backyard, let 'em. They'll be disillusioned soon enough."

Craig trudged off to his tractor while Carolyn went back inside to work on dinner.  Only the girls enjoyed the rich life that their diamonds promised. They dreamed of being millionaires all summer long.

Welcome to the Rileys



This is the shot in "Welcome to the Rileys" that shows where
Kristen Stewart dances.

On a trip to New Orleans in October, 2008, I turned a corner and found myself in the midst of a movie shoot. One of the staff on the sidewalk told me it was a film featuring James Gandolfini, who was standing right down the street (but can’t be seen in this shot). I stood for a while and watched, then ambled down another road where, believe it or not, I saw Angelina Jolie walking along with three of her kids.

But back to the movie.

The film being shot was Welcome to the Rileys, which I rented on DVD last night. It’s the story of a middle-aged couple who have become estranged since their teen-aged daughter died in a car accident years ago. The wife has developed agoraphobia and doesn’t leave the house or mention her daughter. The father is having an affair with a waitress who suddenly dies. He travels to New Orleans for a convention and meets a teen-aged runaway prostitute who reminds him of his daughter. He calls his wife and tells her that he’s decided to stay in New Orleans.

Not surprisingly, this news forces the wife to confront her fears and leave the house to follow him. What was surprising was how much I liked her character. She seemed cold and hollow until we watched her try to leave. Instead of witnessing stark terror, tremors and an emotional breakdown (which would have been trite), we see her get in the car and not know how to adjust the seats. It’s actually a funny scene, followed by bad driving that has her crashing before she even leaves her driveway. Still, she forges on and her character becomes more and more endearing. She’s fragile but kind, and braver than expected. I found myself wishing the storyline were more about her.

When the credits rolled, I waited to see who the actress was (because I hadn’t read the case). It was Melissa Leo! I’d had no idea. Her character was so different than the one she played in The Fighter and she looked so different than she did at the Oscars. I was impressed.  She was an actress I didn’t think I’d like, but have now reconsidered.

James Gandolfini was – James Gandolfini. He never seems any different from character to character. And the teenaged prostitute, Kristen Stewart, was an edgier Bella, but equally as unlikeable. I liked the movie, but mostly because of Leo’s performance and the fact that I felt a personal tie after stumbling upon the street corner where the movie was filmed. I’ll save the Angelina story for another day.

Happy National Doughnut Day!

The Baker

On Friday morning

he scraped a hairnet over his scalp

and stood before a bubbling vat of grease

watching doughnuts bob by as they fried.

Hundreds floated, flipped, and browned,

while he kept a lazy eye on their progress.

One thousand,

ten thousand,

a Homer Simpson nirvana.

He breathed in the sugary air for hours

until the clock reached its mercy.

He climbed in his car

pulled through a fast-food lane

and settled onto his worn couch, watching re-reruns

until his next shift.

# # #

Okay, now that we've honored those who bake our donuts for us, run to your local Krispy Kreme for a free doughnut today, or stop by Dunkin' Donuts and grab a free donut with any beverage purchase.

For real.

Today is a holiday created in 1938 by the Salvation Army to honor the women who served doughnuts to soldiers during World War I. National Doughnut Day is celebrated on the first Friday in June.

The Bible Belt

Some people have asked me what it means when they hear that Ohio is part of the "Bible Belt." In part, it means you see signs like this when you drive down an interstate highway.

Top 10 Signs You're Not Very Good at Frisbee Golf

10. You call it a Frisbee. Real players use discs.

9. You need a GPS system to find your disc after every throw.

8. You get poison ivy on your hands at Hole #1 while looking for your disc.

7. When you throw a tomahawk, someone may actually get scalped.

6. Your “approach” causes you physical injury.

5. You get carpal tunnel by hole #5.

4. You spend more time climbing trees than playing disc golf.

3. The six-year-olds behind you ask if they can “play through.”

2. You’re already at par before you ever make it out of the woods.

1. By the end of the game, you even have poison ivy under your clothes.



Treasures in the Tree

Tommy braced his leg against a limb. His knee dug into his chest, but he was securely in place. He sat in his usual spot, staring down at the hole in the tree across from him. He could almost make out the shiny metal of the gift he'd left inside, but he didn't think anyone else would notice.

Reassured, Tommy continued work on the picture of the owl he was carving into his spot in the trees. He'd begun crafting it more than two weeks ago when he first started hiding treasures for his secret friend.

It all started with a rubber-banded set of firecrackers that he wasn't supposed to have. His mom would have killed him if she'd found them. So he hid them in the hole in the tree back in the woods behind their neighborhood. When he went back to collect his treasure, he found a valentine card tucked into the hole instead. At first he was mad. Someone had stolen his firecrackers just when he and his friend Greg had planned to set them off. But later, as he turned the valentine over in his hand, he discovered words written lightly in pencil. Who are you? they read.

A few days later, Tommy decided to leave something else in the tree. This time, he slipped in a quarter that had a hole through the middle of it. His friend Scott said that the hole was made by a pellet gun, but Tommy wasn't so sure about that. He left it there anyway, and then decided to climb the tree he sat in now and watch. He'd sat there for hours each day, waiting to see who was taking his gifts and leaving others in exchange. So far, he hadn't seen anyone but a couple of teenagers who walked right beneath him without ever noticing that Tommy sat perched above them.

The quarter disappeared and in its place Tommy found a purple geode. It was the coolest thing he'd ever found. He wouldn't have left that for someone else. He was more curious than ever about who was leaving things for him. He imagined it was a girl and that he would marry this girl someday. He didn't want to meet her, but he did want to know who was leaving things in his secret tree.

Today he'd left a treasure map. It had directions to Tommy's secret lock box, hidden down the path a little farther. Attached to the map was a key. Tommy could barely see the key from where he sat, but it was still there. He'd only been waiting twenty minutes or so today, carving the final feathers on his picture of an owl. He hoped the girl wouldn't arrive too soon. He wasn't finished yet. For inside the locked box was another map. This one led to the very tree where he sat. He told the finder of the map to climb the tree. And there she would find the owl he'd carved for her, along with his own question: Whooo are you?