Dear Crabbie (not to be confused with Abby)

This is not my husband. This is a man who walked in front of my camera
while I was taking a picture of an ice sculpture.

Dear Crabbie,
My husband constantly wears the most hideous plaid jacket I've ever seen. I hate it! And he knows it. And yet, he insists on wearing it everywhere: weddings, parties, family pictures, etc.. It drives me crazy! I've done everything to get rid of that jacket. I spilled soup on it when we went out to dinner. (But you can barely see the stain since the jacket is so busy.) I wadded it up and put it in the garbage can when he wasn't looking, but he just pulled it back out and wore it WITHOUT EVEN CLEANING IT FIRST! I let the dog have her babies on it. I even cleaned the toilet with it. He still insists on wearing it. I'm at the end of my rope, Crabbie. He wears it just to spite me. I'm starting to hate him as much as I hate his jacket. What can I do?

Signed,
Plaid Makes Me Puke


Dear Plaid,
I have not encountered a bigger battle of wills since my Kindergarten days. You two need to grow up. You will have to accept that you can't control your husband, and to be honest, I don't know why you want to. Personally, I'd let him wander off into the sunset in that tacky jacket and be done with him. Anyone that goes so far as to wear a jacket out of a garbage can just to make his wife mad is as childish as the woman who threw a tantrum about a jacket in the first place. Let the jacket, the battle, and the bull-headed man go.

Crabbie