Saturday, March 31, 2012

Transylvania Course Catalog

Oddly enough, Transylvania University is located in Lexington, Kentucky.


CULINARY ARTS 101: Learn how to make scrumptious Italian dishes without using garlic and create new twists on old favorites such as blood pudding and ox neck stew.

ADVANCED DENTISTRY: Students should take the pre-requisite INTRODUCTION TO FANGS.

PSYCHOLOGY OF VAMPIRE HUNTERS: Learn who they are, how to spot them, and why they carry mirrors, Bibles, holy water, crucifixes, and wooden stakes with them.This course will cover traditional eastern European hunters through modern hunters such as Buffy and Van Helsing.

GOTHIC LIT: Reading materials will include works by Anne Rice, Bram Stoker, Sheridan Le Fanu, Stephen King, Stephenie Meyer, and Laurell K. Hamilton.

PHILOSOPHY 101: Immortality: To Be or Not to Be?

GEOGRAPHY: Intensive look into the geography of Transylvania, Romania and Wallachia and the migratory paths of vampires.

INTRODUCTION TO GEOLOGY: Removal and transference of native soil. (Concentration on Dracula's hindered attempts to travel.)

FILM-MAKING 101: We'll discuss the cinematography needed to create vampiric special effects such as twinkling diamond-like skin in sunlight, bending a victim's neck for optimal view during the bite, the sudden appearance of fangs and claws, transmorphing from vampire bat to human form, and how to show movement so fast that it cannot be seen by the naked eye, nor captured on film.

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