Screams In The Night

This is the back of a tattoo parlor near the University of Cincinnati

Brad and Dylan left the bar around midnight, each carrying a six pack back to Dylan's apartment. They flopped onto Dylan's torn fake-leather chairs and turned on the TV to play Halo.

"Hey man, give me a beer and put the rest in the fridge," Dylan said as he wandered past pizza boxes, dirty underwear and textbooks on the floor on his way to the bathroom.

Brad carried the beer a few steps into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator door. There were a few Taco Bell hot sauce packets, but no food. He put the beers in the fridge and called down the hallway to Brad.

"Ah, Dude. You don't have anything to eat. I'm starvin!"

A sudden scream pierced the air.

"What the -- ? Was that you?" Brad yelled down the hall. He started toward the bathroom, then stopped and looked around the apartment. The toilet flushed and Dylan appeared, zipping his jeans.

"Did you just scream?" Brad asked.

Dylan shook his head. "Nah. Some loser downstairs."

Dylan lead Brad back over to the recliners and reached for his remote. He turned up the volume on the TV just as another scream wafted through the apartment. He turned the volume higher. Brad looked at Dylan and then jumped up to look out the window.

"Should we call the cops or something?"

Dylan started the game. "Nah. It's just some guy downstairs getting a tattoo."

Brad absorbed this information and took a long swig of his beer. "You have to listen to this all the time?"

Dylan nodded. "All the time. Just wait til 2:30 when the bars close and a bunch of dumbasses think they want to get a tattoo. They start cryin' and screamin'. Or laughin'. It gets pretty loud. It's usually a bunch of 'em, drunk off their asses."

"Dude, I'd move."

"Nah. The owner and I made a deal. Every morning I stop by and pick out a tattoo. Then if he gets anyone in there who says 'I don't know' or I don't care, give me anything' when he asks them what kind of tattoo they want, he gives them whichever tattoo I picked out that morning. It's my reward for listening to them whine and scream all night."

Brad downed his beer and picked up his remote as another scream rose from the shop below. "So, what'd you pick today?"

"A rainbow Care Bear, man. Give 'em something to really scream about."