Cruise Confidential

Carnival Legend

Brian David Bruns, the author of Cruise Confidential: A Hit Below the Waterline: Where the Crew Lives, Eats, Wars, and Parties, is the only American to have made it through the 8-month contract working in Carnival cruise ship kitchens. In his book, he describes his initial training, in which he and I were both surprised to learn that the wait staff have to be trained on how to serve Americans.

His instructor tells the new team of foreigners: “Americans are the easiest people to serve in the world.”

He tells them that Americans on a cruise are interested in having fun and want fast service, not fine service. Very true. They are also told that Americans want to befriend the people waiting on them; they want to know their servers’ names, where they’re from, and like to have their pictures taken with them. Also very true. The author says that the Americans may or may not recognize the names of their countries, and probably couldn’t find them on a map. Fair enough. And that Americans only speak one language – English. I think that’s a fair statement, too.

The staff is told that “Americans want to know you are trying. They eat out almost every day there, so they want something different, something fun. Being in the dining room is not a special occasion for them the way it is for most of you.”

Guess that’s why they make the waiters dance….