Sunday, December 18, 2011

Glad You Found Me?

I am dying to know who is so incapable of standing in an elevator
 that only goes up and down three floors that they need a chair to sit down?

It always interests me to see what search words bring people to my blog. Most are pretty straightforward, but sometimes weird combinations show up in my Traffic Sources. I jotted down a few of the ones I thought were fun and share them here with you.

Jeezle! He grew a mustache, yes. But he didn’t eat the earth!

This one was easy. Yes, there is a suicide hotline phone on the Golden Gate Bridge, and yes, I took a picture of it. I still wonder whether anyone has used it? The piece I wrote wasn’t actually about the phone. It was about a weird conversation we had during a children’s birthday party. We gave it way too much thought.

all toes amputated
Not even entering these words into a search engine on my blog brings up any results for these words. What in the world??

This surprised me. I don’t ever remember writing about Johnny Depp. I’ve never met or seen him. So I did my own search and found me “Precious Toenail Polish Massacre” story. Now it all makes sense (kinda).

This person had to be disappointed. Oddly enough, when I saw those search words, I thought 'Huh. I did write about the hospital in Nicaragua. I didn’t think I had yet.'  But when I entered the words for the search, I saw that I was correct; I haven’t written about Nicaragua yet. This piece was about my daughter watching Women’s World Cup Soccer. “Third” and “Degree” are interspersed, not together.

I knew exactly what post these words led to: a fictional story about a sociology experiment a young woman conducts. But it’s not in an elevator.

Wow! I loved these search words! They actually linked to my list of “Top 10 Signs You’re Not The Next Food Network Star.” I guess some Food Network Stars probably think they are God, so my list might apply. I thought about coming up with a list of Top 10 Signs You’re Not God, but it could get very out of hand. I was a little afraid to go there.


  1. I've taken a photo of one of those phones too. The idea is that by putting resources into preventing or deterring or reducing potential suicides, the ugly barriers can be removed. They didn't work anyway.

    And opened up that glorious view. The day I biked over the Golden Gate was the best of my life.

  2. I've gotten some strange search words in my stats as well. Really, who searches for these things? :P

    Thank you for coming by my blog!